Halloween 2011

Happy Halloween!  

We enjoy dressing up as a family and attending our friend's Halloween party every year.  I try for mostly homemade costumes.  B is really into the show, Diego, right now.  Thankfully, the costume wasn't too difficult to make. I'm just glad he didn't want to be Thomas.  I would have been buying that costume.  

I repurposed some of Nate's pants for B's pants, already had the blue shirt, made the rescue pack and the shorts and bought the little baby Jaguar.  I think I spent a total of $6 for Diego.

I was Dora and did buy my clothes on clearance at Old Navy, but I can definitely wear them again (just not together).  I made my Dora backpack (forgot to take a pic of the back of it) and paid $5 for the wig.  

Nate's was The Map and thanks to his career he always has lots of maps on hand! 

Since a Nor'easter decided to hit us on the day of the party, I had to add some tights.   

Oops, my wig is coming off!

The whole clan

Rescue pack and a little bit of crack ;)

We always have such a great time with our "small group". Everyone really gets into the whole event and we have so much fun!

Blog Award

Earlier this week, the wonderful Modern Mommy Magic generously presented me with the following award:

She is a fellow adoptive mommy of two beautiful girls through open adoption! Stop by and visit her blog and follow along.  


Do you know how to be a "follower" of someone?  One of the best inventions on the internet is Google Reader.   If you don't have a google email account, you should still be able to sign up for Google Reader.   If you hit "Join this site" on a blog (most blogger blogs have this box), the blog will automatically appear in your google reader.  Which means you don't have to visit the blog everyday to see if a new post is up.  The new post will automatically appear in your reader.  You can read it on your computer, ipad, or iphone.  Please follow publicly to a blog so that the writer knows you are reading along.  It really is nice to know people are interested in what you have to say.  So if you haven't followed my blog yet....PLEASE DO!   Right over there.....<-------------



Okay, off my rabbit trail and back to the award...
The Liebster (German for friend or love) Award spotlights up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. Now it's time for me to pass the torch.


THE RULES

Upon receiving the Liebster Award, you must do the following:
1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet – other writers.
5. And best of all – have fun!

MY PICKS

1. Lisa at Just a Girl From Indiana - Lisa and I went to the same college, but were only there at the same time for one semester.  We didn't really know each other, but have found out fun she is from being friends on FB.  She just started blogging about her crazy life with with two little boys very close in age! 



2. Leah at Behind the Stone Wall - Leah is my running friend who I can no longer call my running friend. Besides the fact that she's very pregnant right now, she up and moved to Georgia!  Leah is hilarious and you won't be sorry if you start following her blog.


3. Faith at the Nurture Your Hopes - Faith is a new blogging friend. She has two miracle babies that are VERY close together.  She always has fun stories and cute pictures ;)


4. Mama Duck at Our Little Pond - Mama Duck is a fellow adoptive mommy.  We met several years ago while both being interviewed about our stories for a pro-life video.  She writes some amazing stuff!



5.  Kelly at From Empty Womb to Overflowing Heart - Kelly is a new blogging friend as well. I absolutely love this girl, and I only know her through blogs.  She's definitely a kindred spirit, oh and a fellow open adoptive mommy!

I hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I do! 

Open Adoption Roundtable #31

Write about open adoption and being scared.

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points--please feel free to adapt or expand on them.

Write a response at your blog--linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs--and share your post in the comments here. Using a previously published post is fine; I'd appreciate it if you'd add a link back to the roundtable. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

I thought it would be interesting for me and Ash to interview each other for this roundtable.  We have talked together about fears before, but I think we both learned something new through this.

Amber: What were your open adoption fears before placement, Ash (b-mom)?

• Before I even knew that you were open to open adoption, I was worried about you guys being scared of me. I thought I was being super dramatic about it, but when I've met other birth moms, they have they same fear.  The general stigma of birthmoms seems to always be negative. Things like poor life decisions, being unstable and irresponsible. All these things added to the fact that a child was placed into another family, brings up thoughts and feelings that suggest birthmoms are going to change their minds or steal the baby in the middle of the night. I was scared that these ideas would be in the back of your minds and that you would be scared and extra cautious. But the reality is that the decision to place your own child who you love more than anything in a family besides your own is so unbelievably hard. Once its done all I want, and other birthmoms want, is for the plan we have for our child to succeed in being a supportive and loving family unit. Why would we go out of our way and sacrifice so much to ruin it? The sacrifice alone shows our dedication to the life of our baby and that same dedication can be seen in making sure that the choice for adoption is everything we hoped for. 

•  The thought of having to deal with B running to you as "mommy" instead of me was terrifying to me. I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it. But, I soon realized that I had to accept the place I hold in B’s life. If I was to step out of line by becoming offended or competitive, that would cause tension, hard feelings, and anger. All of these things would very easily be picked up by B and I absolutely do not want any of that near his perfect little spirit. In fact, those were the exact reasons why I chose adoption. To protect B from conflict and unrest. So why would I sacrifice so much to then cause the one thing I wanted to protect him from? Another reason was that I want this idea of Mom, Dad, and Birthmom to be as normal as the blue sky and green grass outside. Otherwise B would see it as a negative thing and then turn it on himself, seeing himself as the center of negativity. Family fears, my parents, worried about me recovering from the whole experience, and having to deal with being the birthmom. There is a lot of emotional turmoil, stress, loneliness, discontent, all these negative emotions that come with being a Birthmom. There are of course good things, but it’s the negative that always has a greater impact. I was and still am hesitant to share my feelings with my family because I know they are scared that I may never fully recover or learn to cope with these feelings. The reality is that they are inevitable. But, you learn to adapt and focus on the positive. All those feelings seem to melt away the second I see those bright eyes and head of curls. 

 Ash: What were your fears before placement, Amber (A-mom)?

• I was definitely scared of the unknowns. Scared if you would be a stable person and capable of participating in open adoption.  Before we had our match meeting, I was concerned that the decision to place B for adoption, was your decision alone. I wanted to be confident that there was not any pressure from your parents. I knew that if it was your plan and idea, you would be much more secure in your decision at birth and in the future.  When we met, I knew immediately that it was all you.  The way you took charge and led that meeting and the questions and your excitement about meeting us and knowing every little thing about us (and this is the longest run-on sentence) and just the way you shared your story with us, it was obvious. Your parents were so supportive and respectful of your decision, whatever the outcome, was awesome.  There was no way you could have done this without the support of them.  

Amber: Ash, what were you scared of immediately after placement?

Immediately after B was born I was really serious about sticking to email, so that you could establish your family and bond with him.  My fear was that you would see that as not being interested. I was afraid that you would misunderstand me and misread what was going on with me. All I wanted was to be nosy and see how everything was going but I was determined to let you guys have your special moments with B and not be too pushy.

Ash: Amber, what were you guys scared of immediately after placement?

• We really wanted openness, but we were concerned it would be too much for you.  I first emailed you the night we brought him home from the hospital, and weekly after that.  We sent lots of pictures, but I was concerned about sending pictures with us in them.  I thought it would make you sad.  One time, I snuck a picture of Nate & B together in the email.  That was the only picture you talked about in your reply.  It made you so happy to see them bonding.  That's when I realized that this is really what you wanted for his life and it wouldn't hurt you to see pictures of us with him. 

• I think we were also concerned that we would be doing something against the "adoption covenant" that we signed. I was really wanting to get together for a visit before we agreed upon, but I just wasn't sure if that was the "right" thing to do.  I know, it sounds ridiculous...  You finally asked at one point if maybe, just maybe, you could come down for a little visit.  I was actually really nervous for you to come to our house first (since we didn't have his room finished), and we ended up coming to your house for the first time.

Amber: Ash, what about our current open adoption relationship are you scared of?

• My most wild fear is that you guys will think I'm a bad influence on B and that you'll cut communication slightly to indefinitely. The reality is that I am 22 going on 42 and never seem to find myself in questionable situations. Ill choose a good book and tea over a crowded bar any day. But I am scared that there could be a miscommunication or something…this is sounding more and more ridiculous as I look at it in writing! 

•  Main fear is that you feel that your taking advantage of me with babysitting or inviting to fun events.  If it doesn't work out for me to come, then I panic that you think I'm overwhelmed or “don’t feel like it” even though its only a scheduling conflict. 

• Another fear is that my extended family might cause you to withdraw or be hesitant. I know every family has a black sheep or two who kind of stands out and isn't the best influence. But my family has a black sheep, a striped sheep, a tattooed sheep, really there are very few white sheeps. So I am afraid that you will decide its not a good atmosphere for B (by family I mean extended family).  

• I am also afraid that you guys will adopt and end up with another open adoption. My fear is that I would get less time with you and B and that you might feel overwhelmed. I recognize that this is selfish and I would hope that any child who is adopted would have an open relationship. Nonetheless, I am scared. 

 Ash: Amber, what about our current open adoption relationship are you scared of?

• Okay, my current fears are really pretty irrational, but fears, nonetheless. I worry that you are weirded out by us old fogies.  To us, we don't feel that much older than you, but we are ten years older and you could think that we are big dorks.  I worry that we try to spend too much time with you. I also worry that we ask you to babysit too much, and maybe that is offensive to you.

• When I think about adopting again, I'm scared as well. I worry that the adoption won't be open and that would be really difficult with one open adoption and one closed adoption.  Or I worry that it would be hard to juggle two open adoptions.  

Go here to see what other open adoption bloggers had to say about being scared in open adoption!

Beautiful fall weather!

I just can't get enough of this amazing fall weather!

We are trying to squeeze every little minute out of it!

Enjoy these pics of our fun trip to the park last Sunday.

Brayden actually left the park without a meltdown--a rare treat these days!

Joy-Hope Foundation weekend fun!

Our dear friends, Allan and Amy Benton started a foundation a few years ago to benefit other families going through the death of a child.  Allan and Amy have lost two children as infants to Mitochondrial disease.   

The Eric and Ava Benton Joy-Hope Foundation was formed following the separate deaths of the Benton Family's two infant children due to mitochondrial disease. The Joy-Hope Foundation is a private not for profit, 501(C)(3) approved foundation whose goal is to Have Joy and Spread Hope:

Have Joy by providing families who are grieving the death of their child as the result of a medical condition with a new memory making getaway.     Spread Hope by financially supporting research, education and awareness of Mitochondrial Diseases.

Amy, Kim, Emily, Alexa, and B

It was my pleasure to participate in one of their big fundraiser this year, their 2nd annual 5k.  They also added a 10k this year, so I "had" to run both!  Brayden and I also helped the day before canvasing the neighborhoods in the area to alert them of the race.  

Ash, B's birthmom, also did the 5k with me for the second year in a row (click to see last year's blog)!  She hung out with B for an hour while I ran the 10k.  Thankfully, there was a moonbounce at the event, so B was happy as can be.  

Ash, Zach (a friend of ours), and B (in the jogging stroller) ran the 5k next!  It was a bit painful after the 10k, but we survived!  We took turns pushing the jogging stroller while B had the cushy life and ate goldfish and admired all the beautiful leaves!  It was a bummer that Nate had something else going on that day and couldn't join us!  

What a fun even to be a part of! Ash and I are going to make this an annual tradition!

a kiss from B!

yeah, I feel about as bad as I looked :)

Me and Ash before the 5k (nice matching numbers)

B enjoying the moonbounce!

On the way to the race with my little helper!

My friend, Robin, and I before the 10k!  She was my pace buddy until the last half mile!

Me and Ash

I cut ten minutes off my last 10K time and finished in under an hour!  59:45!  It helped that I ran a half marathon in between those 10ks :)

Wordless Wednesday

I finally got around to taking beach pics off the camera from August.  Procrastination and Amber go well together.  Thought you  might need a little sunshine on this rainy day (it's raining here in the NE).  

When I first heard about open adoption. Open Adoption Roundtable #30

I'm participating in the Open Adoption Roundtable #30, Do you remember the first time you heard about open adoption?


I have a slight remembrance about Open Adoption.  I knew someone, through work, that adopted several children.  I seem to remember hearing that they had an open adoption and that the adopted child was in the birth mother's wedding a few years later as a flower girl.  My first impression of open adoption, was, "wow, that is so cool".  I was never weirded out by it!  


I really didn't understand it for us, until I saw an "adoption triad" at an adoption seminar with our agency.  The triad consisted of the adoptive mother, the birth mother, and the 18 year old son.  They all had the most beautiful relationship.  The son was such a well-adjusted young man. He had so much love and respect for both of his mothers.  Everybody in the room was just a blubbery mess of tears.  


We walked away from that seminar with our chins on the ground.  Wow, this is what open adoption could be?  We said, if our relationship with our child's birth mother could be a fraction as wonderful as this, that would be awesome!  


Now, to communicate this to our families and have them get on board with us!  Thankfully, we were able to be in an open adoption relationship that has been ever greater than we could have ever imagined!  They way the Lord has orchestrated our families is a pure miracle.  

B's second birthday, with all three sets of grandparents, us, Ash and her two sisters

Stomach bug woes

Well, my little guy has come down with his first tummy bug of the season. He woke up very upset this morning at 5 dark o clock and wanted in mommy's bed. He finally went B's back to sleep and had to wake him up to go to school. Thursday is a work day for me. Still not sure what was wrong with him, I decided to take him to school. Conveniently, he didn't throw up until after I dropped him off at school.

I would much rather be home with B than at work, just not under these circumstances. So thankful for a flexible job that allows me to take off and care for my child if need be!

I now have this impending doom that I'm next!! I'm cleaning everything hoping I can escape it.

Fire safety month

I've heard rumors on blogs about Home Depot's Kids Workshops in years past, but didn't think my "baby" was quite ready for that yet.  The website says 5-12 years and that's probably accurate for actually building the stuff.  Our home depot was totally cool about younger kids being there though

We were in home depot last week and the cashiers were begging us to bring B on Saturday for the event. It was an extra special event since it was fire safety month. They were going to have a real fire engine there. The build-it-yourself project was a fire helicopter. And B loves helicopters!

It just so happened we had a free morning. B was a little nervous about the fire truck at first. It only took about five minutes for him to warm up to it. You think we could peel him out of that truck to build his helicopter?? Heck, no! I bribed him with the fireman hat over by the helicopters. Thought I accomplished that until we turned around and he was jumping back in the truck.

We finally coerced him to the building tables, where he beat the table, the helicopter and anything he could reach, with a hammer. Daddy did a fine job building it. B did look pretty cute "assisting" in his personalized mini-apron.  You receive a little pin for your apron for each workshop you complete!

cutest little apron ever!

learning about the heat umm sensored flashlight thing (I can't remember the name).

He loved it!!

"helping daddy"

still nervous about the fire engine